Ouch. Three days off and I feel like I’ve fallen into old habits. I’d tried to change things up a bit in my daily routine. The notion of a 4:30am wakeup with a quick run, shower, and having the kiddo and myself dressed for work/school by 6:50am seems gorgeous on paper. However, when my alarm chimes at 4:30, I have the urge to smash my phone into a billion pieces. I turn it off and snooze until 6. Oops!
I did actually make it out of the house. Once. I thought a neighborhood run would be a brilliant idea. Yeaaah! No. My neighborhood is scary when it’s dark out and I’m the biggest scaredy-cat on the planet. So, I’m back to night workouts!
As over prepared as I am for life’s challenges, I feel like a mess when I set foot into the gym!
Case and point:
I ran for 2 miles with a rock in my sock. Also conveniently didn’t bring a ponytail so used a rubberband instead. My brand new ear shaped headphones fell out ten times. Duhhhhh. Stellar!
However, I kept a ten minute pace! I opted for a short run today so that tomorrow will be easier. I hope! Also, I wasn’t brave enough to put on my new running skirt. One day!
Back on track: I’ve signed up for one 5k, one 10k, and the relay for life – all within the next three months. I have found that having an end goal is enough to motivate me to do my gym time. I have been chatting with some friends and the half marathon discussion has come up pretty frequently. I don’t think that I’ll be ready by the end of the year – but I’m thinking that if I set that as my goal I’ll have something to strive for.
Am I nuts? Probably so.
I had never wrapped my mind around the fact that so much of what blocked my ability to run was my brain, not my body. That seemed like a foreign concept to me initially, something that had no relation to my perception of running. Running meant pain in the feet, knees, calves, thighs, throat, and lungs! That’s always been my rationale to stop. Not because my brain says otherwise! I was wrong.
When I began this journey I used the Couch to 5k app, it was a nice ease in to the process – allowing my stamina to build. However, I had the cues of the program to tell me to walk and run. I’d fight with myself saying that I couldn’t make it – but I trucked through because I knew so many people who had great success as a result of using it initially. I became reliant on those breaks from pounding on the treadmill – just a brief moment to not run full on. I became very accustomed to those chimes and the (almost forced) requirement to finish.
I don’t use the app any longer, so all bets are on me in respect to continue trucking at an appropriate pace.
THAT! is the hard part.
It is so easy for me to say “Oh! Well! That’s close enough that I won’t feel too bad about stopping!” or “I have all of these other things which also need my time!” True. But I really just want to get off. The benefit to the entire process to me is the glowing feeling afterwards. The “YES!” moment. I did it! I can do it! I’ll do it again!
When I jump off the treadmill early, I know I’ve robbed myself the entire pleasure of that high.
Today I ran three miles. I didn’t feel good. I was hungry. I was tired. But, I ran. It was faster than I normally can. But I’d be a liar if I didn’t say that three times I wanted to hop off before I was done with my goal.
I was rewarded with my daughters displeasure of hugging me when I’m sweaty. Good job, Mama!
I should start by saying I’m not a runner. When I started my own version of running, a fair amount of laughter erupted from anyone who knew me. I had never been an active child or adult, ever. I worked out at the gym, but I never pushed myself as hard as I could without someone yelling at me. As a result, my health wasn’t prime and I had very little motivation to do anything about it.
There’s a whole lament regarding my overall health that could be detailed here, but it’s mostly irrelevant. I began ‘running’ in October 2011. I put running in quotes because I still don’t feel like I’m really running, per se. I run SLOW. I have to laugh at the notion that I’d even considering myself a runner.
Nonetheless, I ran. A dear friend asked me to run the Hot Chocolate 5k in Washington, D.C. with her. I was terrified but began training. At the time I was completing training for work in Baltimore so it didn’t seem too far fetched. I figured even if I ended up walking in order to complete it, getting this under my belt would give me motivation to continue on the path of improvement. I ran and finished my first 5k in December 2011. I only finished running a 12 minute pace, but I was proud of myself for pushing past the mental hurdle of completion.
As a result, I’ve kept on pushing. I’ve slowly started to increase my speed and distance. I’m still slow as molasses. I’m okay with that! Next up? New Orleans Crescent City Classic